Hasta la vista, babies

Well, Its been a long, long time since I updated the old WildBore. Needless to say, life has been a bit a slog here in the rotten, er, big apple. I can't think of a better nerve center in which to reside if one has massive amounts of coin, but for me, the upcoming evacuation has a lot more to do with community. I vacillate from disappointment I couldn't make a better go of it and incredulity regarding the expectations of what it means to have a "good life" and how insanely short of this threshold my existence here in the city has been. I gotta say, even though I gave it a whirl, I can't live like I have been, which has been a downward spiral in my standard of living (it should also go without saying, I'm no princess ha-ha).

On one hand, living here is like being tempted with everything our culture has to offer, in terms of access and synergy. I look out my window in LIC (see previous post) and see the glittering skyline of Manhattan, and often have meetings and events taking place there, a lot of associates, flitting in and out with some sense of connection. Yet, I feel absolutely no REAL connection whatsoever. I joke around with friend—it's like having a steak waved in front of your face as you're starving. I feel like a tourist (albeit one who has no life outside of work and trying to get by).

It sucks, frankly.

I have also described this state of emotion to friends as being "loneliness plugged into an amplifier." I never felt poor before I moved here, or lonely for that matter, but NYC is a cold place for a midwestern creature like me.

Recently I watched the Wizard of Oz for the first time in about a zillion years and practically wept as a result of its maudlin theme.

(much more later on the next chapter. In the meantime, I'm off to San Francisco to descimate the dregs of my bank account and credit).

My brother was married this fall and I'm cooking up a Mediterranean banquet for that, as well as spending some time on Inauguration DAY—figuring out what's next and obvs catching up with friends for a bit of partying.

Despite the bleak landscape (I'm referring to the relocation to Michigan) I hold out a lot of hope for the future, which is a nice relief from the last 8 years of devolution. (UNDERSTATEMENT!!!)

View from the roof...

I know, oh loyal readers (ha!) I haven't put anything up in a while. Suffice it to say this place has it's ups and downs to be sure, but sitting on the roof of my building can be pretty awesome.

A well-deserved update...

Greetings folks...I know it's been a while, so I have popped up to let people know where I have landed, sort of.

I think I left off when I went to South x Southwest in March, where I had the luxury of a 5-night hotel stay after various stints in couch-surfing in NY and Michigan. Tried to sell the ol' boat, which was looking hopeful, but the folks bailed on me...a pretty depressing cashflow setback. Much has happened since then.

I spent some time in Florida helping my aunt who had knee replacement surgery, then bounced up to NYC and into the new apartment in Long Island City, Queens.

Truthfully, NYC has been kicking my ass, and this move has been very tough. As we speak, I am back in my Ann Arbor apartment, packing up my stuff (or procrastinating the packing of my stuff). I'm having a garage sale this weekend, which will most likely be a wrenching ordeal.

Not. Looking. Forward. To. That.

I share the place in LIC with two guys in their 20s, both of them great and interesting, yet somehow I feel quite unnerved by my circumstances there. I have had none of my belongings there, beyond some pots and pans and clothing...the emptying of my house in Ann Arbor, as well as the aforementioned non-boat sale, have been dangling over my head like the sword of Damacles. Thus, I find myself here, trying to keep up with my workload in NY but at the same time wrestling with the horror of packing and deciding what I can and can't take to the new place, which is most likely temporary (until next May or so). Then I need to find a place of my own to keep my own sanity.

I could list a few funny anecdotes about the ongoing drumbeat of lowering expectations in my standard of living in NYC (i.e.: my bedroom is next to an elevated 7 train which roars 24/7, I can't have my dog there so he is living with relatives, no decent grocery stores, my favorite restaurant trying to pass off tilapia as striped bass, etc.) but these amusing tales will have to wait until I shed my past life, which is still paralyzing me in my efforts to trade in the comfort of my old existence to one of vitality in my new life.

In short, change is a bitch, y'all.

For those of you I haven't contacted in a while, this situation is what is consuming me, I promise I haven't just been ignoring you...it's just hard to put on a pleasant face these days.

Home for 5 days...

No, I didn't find an apartment, but I am, for the moment, a conventioneer in Austin, Texas with my very own hotel room. It is the first place I have slept in the same bed for 5 nights in a row since the end of February...what a luxury.

We're down here for the annual music orgy of schmooze/booze/shows known as South by Southwest...1,500 bands, tacos for breakfast, BBQ for dinner... Don't know that I will be checking in too often this week ;-)

"My, she was Yar..."

I've taken a break from the apartment search for a few weeks. I'm in Detroit for the next 3 days preparing my boat for sale (sigh). I think parting with it is one of the hardest things about leaving Michigan, but there is NO way to haul her out to NY and keep her there...even if I gave up the apartment hunt and lived in it, in dry dock.

So, I need to see if the ice sarcophagus has dwindled to the point where I can get in and do a thorough inventory, get my stuff out and prep her for her travels (hopefully) to Durango, Colordao. The couple who are interested in purchasing her saw my only listing online, and I guess they know that a near-pristine 1976 Islander (designed by Robert Perry) is not easy to come by. Actually, I was quite pleasantly surprised at how many people wrote me about the boat and are interested in buying it, but these folks seem quite serious, so they are first in line.

Man, I had some great times on this boat. Bon Voyage, lovely Swallow...

Maybe I should shack up...

Suddenly it occurred to me that although I know many single people in the city, most of them have a live-in partner. Perhaps I've been too picky all these years.

How 'bout it guys, any takers?

No tickee, no raundry...

Someone sent me a Craig's listing of an "immaculate" 1 bedroom apartment on the lower east side, so I decided to check it out.

It was in the low, low east side—deeply Chinese, which is cool.

I checked out the place, it was pretty big, but seemed like it could have been Dick Cheney's undisclosed location...flourescent bulbs, ugh. Narrow, one tiny window in the entire place. I said I would think about it.

I walked through the neighborhood, which was extremely exotic to me, and tried to picture myself living there. Plus side? Lot's of restaurants and weird groceries. Close enough to walk to our office on Chrystie Street (albeit a long walk).

On the negative side, I didn't see a single pet. So I decided to pass. I didn't want Frankie to live in fear that he would end up on a pu-pu platter somewhere down there.