Hasta la vista, babies
Well, Its been a long, long time since I updated the old WildBore. Needless to say, life has been a bit a slog here in the rotten, er, big apple. I can't think of a better nerve center in which to reside if one has massive amounts of coin, but for me, the upcoming evacuation has a lot more to do with community. I vacillate from disappointment I couldn't make a better go of it and incredulity regarding the expectations of what it means to have a "good life" and how insanely short of this threshold my existence here in the city has been. I gotta say, even though I gave it a whirl, I can't live like I have been, which has been a downward spiral in my standard of living (it should also go without saying, I'm no princess ha-ha).
On one hand, living here is like being tempted with everything our culture has to offer, in terms of access and synergy. I look out my window in LIC (see previous post) and see the glittering skyline of Manhattan, and often have meetings and events taking place there, a lot of associates, flitting in and out with some sense of connection. Yet, I feel absolutely no REAL connection whatsoever. I joke around with friend—it's like having a steak waved in front of your face as you're starving. I feel like a tourist (albeit one who has no life outside of work and trying to get by).
It sucks, frankly.
I have also described this state of emotion to friends as being "loneliness plugged into an amplifier." I never felt poor before I moved here, or lonely for that matter, but NYC is a cold place for a midwestern creature like me.
Recently I watched the Wizard of Oz for the first time in about a zillion years and practically wept as a result of its maudlin theme.
(much more later on the next chapter. In the meantime, I'm off to San Francisco to descimate the dregs of my bank account and credit).
My brother was married this fall and I'm cooking up a Mediterranean banquet for that, as well as spending some time on Inauguration DAY—figuring out what's next and obvs catching up with friends for a bit of partying.
Despite the bleak landscape (I'm referring to the relocation to Michigan) I hold out a lot of hope for the future, which is a nice relief from the last 8 years of devolution. (UNDERSTATEMENT!!!)
On one hand, living here is like being tempted with everything our culture has to offer, in terms of access and synergy. I look out my window in LIC (see previous post) and see the glittering skyline of Manhattan, and often have meetings and events taking place there, a lot of associates, flitting in and out with some sense of connection. Yet, I feel absolutely no REAL connection whatsoever. I joke around with friend—it's like having a steak waved in front of your face as you're starving. I feel like a tourist (albeit one who has no life outside of work and trying to get by).
It sucks, frankly.
I have also described this state of emotion to friends as being "loneliness plugged into an amplifier." I never felt poor before I moved here, or lonely for that matter, but NYC is a cold place for a midwestern creature like me.
Recently I watched the Wizard of Oz for the first time in about a zillion years and practically wept as a result of its maudlin theme.
(much more later on the next chapter. In the meantime, I'm off to San Francisco to descimate the dregs of my bank account and credit).
My brother was married this fall and I'm cooking up a Mediterranean banquet for that, as well as spending some time on Inauguration DAY—figuring out what's next and obvs catching up with friends for a bit of partying.
Despite the bleak landscape (I'm referring to the relocation to Michigan) I hold out a lot of hope for the future, which is a nice relief from the last 8 years of devolution. (UNDERSTATEMENT!!!)
posted by wendyo at 10:42 PM
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